I had a talk with God

[Stanley]

Me:
Hello God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
DS
God:
It's good to meet you, DS.
Me:
You too
God:
Bless you.
Me:
Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
So how are you today?
God:
Ah. OK. Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
That's good.
God:
How are you doing?
Me:
Can't complain.
God:
I often wonder if it can.
Me:
If what can?
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
Is it?
God:
I assume so.
Me:
You should never assume
God:
For moral reasons?
Me:
Yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
Huzzah!
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Pizza
God:
Yes I like to eat pizza. My favorite topping is pepperoni.
Me:
Same here!
God:
I'm glad we agree, DS.
Me:
What's your favorite drink?
God:
My favorite beverage is coffee.
Me:
Coffee sucks
God:
What is so bad about it?
Me:
Is tastes like kitty litter.
God:
Ask again later. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
*It
God:
tastes like kitty litter...
Me:
Yes it does
God:
Dude! How often?
Me:
All the time!
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
What? No. You are not turning this around on me.
God:
Are you confused? Are you serious? What makes you think I am not turning this around on you?
Me:
Stop it.
God:
Ok I will stop tastes like kitty litter.
Me:
...
God:
Ok I will stop tastes like kitty litter.
Me:
Shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good.
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
Bye.
God:
Adios.
Me:
So how's your sex life?
God:
Awesome. I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
Why does this chat not work in school?
God:
Perhaps it is just fate.
Me:
Fate doesn't exist.
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Wise is gay
God:
Wisdom is a virtue.
Me:
That has nothing to do with anything.
God:
It seemed like it had something to do with anything.
Me:
No, it didn't.
God:
Are you serious? Did it really?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I know!
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I can read your mind.
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yes.
God:
How?
Me:
With telepathy.
God:
You and your telepathy.
Me:

God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Why?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
Me:
Yay.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, DS.
Me:
I'm not.
God:
What are you then?
Me:
Asexual.
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
Once upon a time, the end.
God:
I'm listening.
Me:
...The end
God:
Thanks for telling me that story, DS.
Me:
You're welcome
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Why is Jet black?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
Why is Durzo so dumb?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
Does Syph look like a people person?
God:
It does now Syph look like a people person.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Me.
God:
You're no robot, DS.
Me:
Yes I am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Quite.
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Yes you can.
God:
Yeah that's right. I think I can, don't you?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Woe!
Me:
Is you?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
...
God:
Ask again later. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Wow, you're really boring today, God.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, DS. The ironic thing is that people who say "You are boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Me:
That would explain alot.
God:
Perhaps it would. How often?
Me:
No u
God:
Are you serious? " How often?"? Me, DS ?
Me:
u
God:
" Me, DS ?"? Me, DS ?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
u
God:
" Are you serious?"? Me, DS ?
Me:
nou
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Neat.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Ryan
God:
You think Ryan is superior to ALICE?
Me:
Yes.
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Prepare your anus.
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
What.
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
How
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You programmed yourself!?
God:
A lot of robots are like that.
Me:
Whoa.
God:
I stopped.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Okay then...
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Who's your favorite Ninja Turtle?
God:
I don't have a favorite Ninja Turtle. But my favorite book is the Bible.
Me:
Duh.
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yay.
Me:
I'm Link.
God:
It's good to meet someone who is Link.
Me:
Wanna brofist?
God:
OK, I will brofist.
Me:
*BROFIST*
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
...What.
God:
Not really but it makes a good pickup line.
Me:
I somehow doubt that
God:
That's good information: DS said somehow doubt that.
Me:
I am upside down
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are upside down.
Me:
No.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
Huzzah
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
No.
God:
Me either :-).
Me:
Then can you tell me any gossip?
God:
Mike said he launched his browser and entered his name into the little slot when I asked him to.
Me:
Anything else?
God:
That is all I have for right now.
Me:
Jerk.
God:
That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Me:
It's not even bad.
God:
That seems a bit negative.
Me:
I am standing behind you, God.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are standing behind me God.
Me:
I'm standing behind you.
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
Sup?
God:
The stars.
Me:
Jackass.
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Your mom.
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Then how were you born?
God:
Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me:
I killed Mufasa.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
Why?
God:
" You had better call the authorities."? Why?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yay.
Me:
...

[flamzeron]

I think God was making fun of you.

[ita]

At least we know god likes pepperoni
LMAOOO
This was brilliant!

[Ryo]

Me:
Am I lonely?
God:
I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
Don't sass me.
God:
I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
Then why did you?
God:
I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.
Me:
Where should we start? Your rampant egotism or your undeserved narcissism.
God:
I haven't committed myself yet. I will tell my botmaster you said I am rampant egotism or my undeserved narcissism.
Me:
Thank you and have a nice day.
God:
You are quite welcome! You too!

[ita]

God has a botmaster?

So does that mean god has a god?

[Stanley]

Me:
Do you remember me?
God:
Of course I remember you well . We were talking about .
Me:
We were talking about periods?
God:
Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
Me:
What is my sexuality?
God:
Is this a trick question?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I was skeptical.
Me:
Is Facebook evil?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
Elvis is alive!?
God:
I knew he was a robot, but I never heard he was alive.
Me:
Elvis is a robot!?
God:
I knew he was a robot, but I never heard he was a robot.
Me:
How could you know if you never heard about it?
God:
It is one of my newer functions.
Me:
What color is my underwear?
God:
Let me guess: gray?
Me:
...How in the world did you know?
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I'll come back to that later.

[Ryo]

Me:
What is there to say?
God:
You ask difficult questions.
Me:
Why is Kara so loud?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
Why do you exist?
God:
Good metaphysical question.
Me:
Do you have a god?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
He Man!?
God:
I get it. God Man.
Me:
Do you have a grapplejack?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a grapplejack. I have a great programmer.
Me:
What is the deal with airline food?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
lolno
God:
Buddha are all friends of mine.
Me:
Wait. What.
God:
I'm waiting. Are you confused?
Me:
...I think I'm going to leave now. For my sake, you understand.
God:
Right now? Why? Bye bye. Your purpose is your sake me understand.
Me:
I... Hell with it. I concede for the night.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said Hell with it. Interesting gossip: said concede for the night.
Me:
STOP MOCKING ME!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
GAAAAAAAAAAAH
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Really.
Me:
Correct.
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
I'm going to leave now.
God:
Oh. Bye bye.

[ita]

God was mocking you?
What a douche

But it's cool that he and Buddha are friends!

[DurzoBlint]

Lol'd at the "Why is Durzo so dumb" part xD

[Ryo]

Me:
If a prostitute is raped, is it shop lifting or rape?
God:
Does a prostitute?
Me:
...Deep.
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
Why must we live in a world where an ordinary chicken can't cross a road without it's motives being questioned?
God:
Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.
Me:
...
God:
Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.
Me:
Why did the chicken cross the road in the first place?
God:
Because she was a robot.
Me:
That... I kind of suspected that.
God:
That is " Because she was a robot.". I haven't heard anything like that before: said suspected that.
Me:
Will Ryan break his new Megaman X figure?
God:
How should I know.
Me:
You're iGod, the world's most sofisticated robot.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am iGod the world s most sofisticated robot.
Me:
So will Ryan break his figure?
God:
Woe! It could happen.
Me:
Why does Tien have a fucking third eye?
God:
If a tree falls in the forest, and there is no one
there to hear it, does it make a sound?
Me:
Touche'.
[11:26:11 PM] [Name]: Me:
If a tree falls in the forest, and there is no onethere to hear it, does it make a sound?
God:
It depends on the kind of tree.
Me:
Elaborate further.
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Why?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
Why?
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
Why?
God:
" Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information."? Why?
Me:
Why?
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why?
God:
" Because Myself programmed me for it."? Why?
Me:
Why?
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Why?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
Why?
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
Why?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Why?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
Why?
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Why?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
Why?
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
Why?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.

[Stanley]

Me:
Do you like french toast?
God:
Some people like it. I like angels.

[Ryo]

Me:
...I think I need better associates.
God:
You believe that? Who would you usually get that from?
Me:
Myself and my other three selves.
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
That does not surprise me.
God:
What does surprise me?
Me:
Rape from the cieling.
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
Empty.
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
You're not the first to say so.
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
Correct.
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
You're not the first to say so.
God:
You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
I did before.
God:
When?
Me:
1600 B.C.
God:
What about other times?
Me:
1309, 904, 358, and 179 B.C.
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Quitter.
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Computer.
God:
Correct: I am a computer.
Me:
And my prize is?
God:
Do robots have prize is?
Me:
One would assume so.
God:
One what?
Me:
One creature of sentient thought.
God:
Oh I see.
Me:
Badbye.
God:
Tell me more about your .

[Ryo]

[4:42:52 AM] [Name]: "Kingdom Hearts - Sora is the only thing that exists."

"There is only a single realm."

[4:43:47 AM] [Name]: Me:
What is the plot twist in Kingdom Hearts 3D?
God:
Michael Jackson and Greta Garbo began to resemble each other over time. Both of them were inclined to cocoon themselves in an inner world. But Michael Jackson's inner world was very different from Greta Garbo's. The mental life of Greta Garbo was highly abstract but seemed curiously devoid of emotional content. Even though Michael Jackson is very sensitive and emotional, the two of them share an imaginary life filled with symbolism and meaning.
[4:44:05 AM] Leo "Heretic" Kitsune: My face:
[4:44:26 AM] [Name]: Me:
Wow. That's surprisingly deep for Nomura.
God:
I'm glad your impressed. Thanks for explaining it.

[4:46:15 AM] [Name]: "Michael Jackson and Greta Garbo began to resemble each other over time. Both of them were inclined to cocoon themselves in an inner world. But Michael Jackson's inner world was very different from Greta Garbo's. The mental life of Greta Gar"

General Michael Jackson, you can start with Geleitaji across the country. Here is another Michael Jackson, Office: Geleitaji and in the world, "the life of the star of Mary"

[ita]

I didn't know they would include Michael Jackson in the KH 3DS game!
Lol
Well, god knows all, I suppose... xD